Discovering that your child identifies as LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, non-binary, pansexual, or any other identity under the LGBTQ+ umbrella) can be a pivotal moment in your relationship as a parent. It’s essential to approach this situation with love, understanding, and acceptance. In this blog post, we will explore ten important things you can do to support your child during this transformative time in their life.
Lead with Love:
Above all, remember that your child is the same person you have always loved. Embrace them with love, acceptance, and support. Show them that your love is unconditional, and that their sexual orientation or gender identity does not change your feelings towards them.
Maintain Physical Affection:
Continue to express your affection physically. Hugs, kisses, and loving gestures are important ways to show your child that your love is unwavering. Physical distance may be perceived as a form of rejection, so make sure to demonstrate your continued love and support through physical touch.
Express Your Pain Away from Your Child:
Coming to terms with your child’s LGBTQ+ identity might bring up a range of emotions, including confusion, fear, or disappointment. It’s important to process these emotions in a healthy manner, but avoid burdening your child with your own struggles. Seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors to help you navigate your feelings.
Seek Help and Support:
Reach out to organizations like PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) for guidance and support. PFLAG offers resources, support groups, and educational materials for families of LGBTQ+ individuals. Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can be immensely helpful as you navigate this new chapter.
Avoid Rejecting Behaviors:
Resist the urge to react negatively or reject your child’s identity. Understand that their sexual orientation or gender identity is an intrinsic part of who they are. Rejecting or denying their truth can lead to deep emotional pain and harm their well-being. Instead, strive to create an open and accepting environment where they feel safe to be themselves.
Use Preferred Names and Pronouns:
When your child comes out, they may share with you their preferred name and pronouns that align with their gender identity. Honor their request and make a conscious effort to use the correct names and pronouns. This simple act validates their identity and shows your respect and support for who they are.
Educate Yourself:
Take the initiative to educate yourself about LGBTQ+ issues. Read books, articles, and personal accounts to gain a better understanding of different sexual orientations and gender identities. This knowledge will not only help you support your child but also foster empathy and acceptance within yourself.
Celebrate Their Identity:
Embrace and celebrate your child’s LGBTQ+ identity. Attend LGBTQ+ events together, such as Pride parades, film festivals, or community gatherings. By participating, you demonstrate solidarity and help create a sense of belonging for your child within the LGBTQ+ community.
Advocate for LGBTQ+ Rights:
Become an ally for LGBTQ+ rights and equality. Use your voice to promote inclusivity, challenge discrimination, and support legislation that protects the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals. Being an advocate sends a powerful message to your child that you stand beside them and affirm their place in society.
Maintain Open Communication:
Communication is vital throughout this journey. Encourage open and honest conversations with your child. Allow them to express their thoughts, concerns, and experiences, and be an active listener. By fostering open communication, you strengthen your relationship and demonstrate your ongoing support.
When your child comes out as LGBTQ+, it is an opportunity for growth, understanding, and deepening the bond between you. By leading with love, maintaining affection, seeking support, avoiding rejection, using preferred names and pronouns, educating yourself, celebrating their identity, advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, and maintaining open communication, you can create a safe and accepting environment for your child. Remember, their journey is unique, and your support will be instrumental in helping them thrive. Embrace this opportunity to learn, grow, and strengthen your relationship, and together, you can navigate this new chapter with love and acceptance. PFLAG is here to help!